yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
