You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
