Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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