i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
