it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
