Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
