i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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