just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
sarcasm needs its own font
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
