hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize