Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You pole danced in your parka.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
