You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We have so much sex to catch up on
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
