she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
