I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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