This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
