white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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