Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
