Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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