Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
