so that wasnt chicken after all
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
