I hate your face
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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