i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
