Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
