Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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