My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
