Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
