the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
they need to just BURY HIM!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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