you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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