The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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