I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
