hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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