i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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