That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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