I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
