Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
