Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
