So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
