how can u be prego again
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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