I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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