Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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