We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize