Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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