I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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