You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
