omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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