So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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