Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
