i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
