It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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