i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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