im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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