imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
