I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
