We named our party play list daddy issues
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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