Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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