The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
