Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
In America we eat man semen.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
