Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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