whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Why are your pants in the freezer?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize