Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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