My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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