I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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