You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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