You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
