so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
