Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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