I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
