its not stalking. its research.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
