I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
