I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
