Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
