We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
