Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
