Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
