Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Congratulations! We have a period
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